how hairy? two words: wookie tits
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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