I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
vagina is talking i cant
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
