Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
