How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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