She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
