so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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