It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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