It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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