My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
