Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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