i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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