this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
