Porn is love you can see.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Someone signed my nipple.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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