Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You're completely useless in the revolution.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
