Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I am naked and annoyed.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
