You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
