I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
