When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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