Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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