Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
