So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
