so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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