haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Semen is not good for contacts.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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