It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
