Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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