That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
