I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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