goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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