It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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