So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
