dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
