I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
