those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
