I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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