I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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