i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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