This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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