Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
