D3 body, D1 cock
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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