At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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