lets start a swedish sibling band together
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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