I love black thongs
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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