Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
