she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
