i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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