the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
