hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
