I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
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