anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
