Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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