meet me or not, i'm out of control
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
