i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
